We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We had to coat check the pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize