My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
