Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Randomize
