a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
