dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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