that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
