i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
