I wish I could punch you in the face.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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