I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
