why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
