I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize