Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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