O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
