yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
