I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
now i know why i became what i already was.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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