i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
