The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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