I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
