I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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