so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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