I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
