cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
