I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
