im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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