whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
