Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
