some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Randomize
