Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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