The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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