Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
