Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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