what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
