they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
