Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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