I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
