I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
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The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
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It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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