you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
