Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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