just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
