so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
