everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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