Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
