Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
