Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
