actually, I'm a sock model
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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