It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
