spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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