Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
