What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
