another moral hangover. fuck.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
