i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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