Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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