She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
