question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
