I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
