so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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