distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
