DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
