i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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